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This means that you are recognizing what you like in a person, and learning more about who you are really attracted to.

This will serve you well when you meet someone who is single and who has the qualities you like.

A few years ago a I saw a very beautifully made and very personal student film about a lonely and shy young man who has insomnia so he walks around downtown late at night, visiting a diner where he has a crush on the waitress, and otherwise encountering women who all don’t notice him or outright reject him.

It was beautifully shot and scored and acted, but I’m not sure that what’s stayed with me is what the filmmaker wanted to stay with me, which is that every single woman that the protagonist ran into in this world was young, pretty, white, able-bodied, straight, and assumed to be potentially dateable.

So I’m a guy, 20 years old and totally devoid of any form of romantic relationship. I’ve never so much as held hands with a member of the opposite sex, never mind anything else.

I’m getting incredibly lonely and yes before you say it, I did behave like a nice guy tm once and just once.

I’m fast becoming isolated, I’ve zero self confidence and my self esteem has taken a nose dive, a combination of truly looking into the mirror for once and a mystery illness.

I don’t think I look handsome, but a lot of people have said that I do.

We all grow up on stories and messages where men go out and do great deeds and they rescue and/or win the love of women. These are the messages you are swimming in, and they are affecting your life.

I’m lonely and very different, I’m eccentric, have eccentric tastes and I’m a lot more mature then most people I meet in most social settings (I’ve been regularly mistaken for 40 when I was 18) I’m also a romantic whose entire cultural upbringing utterly rejects the idea of genders freely mixing and all that cabal. I can out-argue almost anyone and I can debate exceptionally well but I’ve zero social skills that aren’t an argument, sports or one of my passions (which many people do not like) I’m regularly putting my foot in it in casual conversations and I have been told in the past that I am far far too intense.

On the plus side, most of my closest friends are all female (I do not and have not had romantic feelings for any of them) and they’re great people but they all offer conflicting advice on what my problem is.

I was an ass, I made an incredible fool of myself, I traumatized my friends and worst of all, I hurt that poor girls feelings.

She wasn’t the nicest person and took advantage of me, but I hurt her feelings and I made sure when I came to my senses that I apologized, regardless of what she’d done, I messed up.

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