Don’t get me wrong, a good sexual chemistry is a powerful motivator.
But don’t let the sex cloud your understanding of who the person is, and what other things you like to do together. And initiation of sex shouldn’t cause major shifts in the relationship.
How have they accepted their own responsibility for the divorce. Walking away from a marriage is hard work, and the way someone tells their divorce story is important. You’d think that if someone is dating again that they are ready for a relationship. You’d even imagine, that someone who puts up a dating profile online, and who talks about what they want in their next relationship, probably has some intention of being in a relationship. I have been on quite a few dates where the woman had no idea what they wanted.
Even if the divorce was the result of some infidelity, have they been able to move beyond the anger? I had one woman, who I connected with and had just spent nearly two hours talking to, tell me in the parking lot as she was getting into her car, “I can tell you at least three reasons I’m not right for you.” She didn’t, but she said she knew she had no real idea of what she wanted in a relationship.
You’re friendship should still remain a focus in all of the stages of a relationship.
Perhaps that’s part of what led us to divorce, we stopped dating our partners and began to take them for granted.
We stopped cheerleading and became more of a negotiator, or even antagonist.
” And this opportunity to share your story and hear the divorce story of the other person, is a great time to listen for their repose.
You are likely to take some of the “stand-in” damage for the anger that needs a place to dissipate. But pay attention to how this person deals with these setbacks or conflicts. In my experience, I find a potential partner who has had kids (they can be older or younger than mine) is more likely to be accepting and accommodating of my relationship to my kids. Sure, it’s an interruption, and sure it puts the “special friend” in a secondary role, but it’s clear to me that my kids emotional and physical well-being is much more important than me having a girlfriend.
It’s likely this is how any future conflict with you might evolve, as well. At least at this point in my life, while they are still in school, and still very much under my influence.
If you’re dating, be clear on if you want to “date” or have a relationship.
I’ve heard that some people are into casual dating and casual sex.